It's that time of the year again. Kids dressing up and going door to door for free candy. Most parents are tolerable with letting their kids go out on Halloween night, but Marla Smooch of Cedar City, Utah is angered by the candy her neighbor gave out last year.
"Well, last year my child was eating his candy when he started developing left-winged views", says Marla. "I couldn't believe the crap he was saying; free health care for everyone, I mean, people should really get off their butts and work!" "I myself work for five hours a day and then come back to take care of my children." (We had to shorten the interview at this point). "Well, anyway, I went to look at his candy and I found jelly beans." "I mean, who gives out jelly beans for Halloween, but anyway, it's obvious to me that these jelly beans were poisoned." That's when she called her neighbor a "witch". "I think it's quite clear that the lady giving out jelly beans is a witch trying to get our children to support Obama."
When we approached her neighbor we were only given the following statement, "Get the **** off my property! I have just as much rights to give out jelly beans as the guy across the street has rights to give out a rock."
Marla's child, who is to remain anonymous, is currently going through extensive treatment to get back the right-winged views he once had.
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